I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
