By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ketchup is God's man juice
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
