i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
