this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize