it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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