You can't special order awesome
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
