i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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