Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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