she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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