Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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