There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
