hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
