Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
