Ambien. No doubt about it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
