Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
