wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.