So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.