She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?