Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
