Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
