you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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