My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
