Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
