Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
