I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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