there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
