I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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