He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think I am morally bankrupt
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
