Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
