Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize