fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
