He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
