at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
