I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
