I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
