my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
