I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
