I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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