I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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