I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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