I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
