i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
