I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
