come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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