Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
