he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She told me I should be a condom model.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
