Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
no, he came in my armpit
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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