I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
