If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
