She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
