Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
