Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he breathalyzed me before we had sex.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me

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(860): View more from Connecticut

My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.

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(303): View more from Colorado

you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue

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(305): View more from Florida

I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.

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(310): View more from California

My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!

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