just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
