is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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