chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
