True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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