The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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