oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
