Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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