Can i not drive my cunt home
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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