I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
