Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
